We are having a party...and you are the guest of honor.....

It's easier to see why men are happier than women --

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
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• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
• Men don't stare at your chest when they speak to you.
  
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• 
  
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• 
  
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.